Scam

A blog for friends across the States... because regular email doesn't seem to always work! :)

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

I think my Dad forgot about me!!!

My Dad had an out-of-office meeting earlier (and by earlier, I mean HOURS earlier)... everyone else attending just planned to go home directly from the meeting. I think my Dad may have done the same...

Because I am the only person left at the office!! Someone just turned out the lights and locked the building! I tried to shout for them to wait as I ran from the other end of the building, but they didn't hear me and apparently just left.

My Dad left me!! I can't believe it... I feel so... so... orphaned!

Should I take it personally that I think my Dad ditched me? Does that say something about me? Does edict require that still give him a Father's Day gift?

It is SO dark in here... and creepy. I may have to cross the street to the Scientology center for refuge... (and this must be how that scam gains converts...)

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

WW:WTF?

So...I'm watching The West Wing...just by random chance...I flipped around after Seinfeld reruns. This show is fucking ridiculous

1. Donna is in a German hospital on morphene after being shot.

2. Josh is having a clandestine meeting with some Palistinian terrorist leader in a German restaurant. [He's in Germany because he's THIS CLOSE to telling her he loves her.]

3. Toby and Charlie are teaching President Bartlet to throw a baseball, because he has to throw the first pitch at some game...and he might be the target of an assasination attempt.

I could continue, but why bother...

On a happier note, Leo is backing Israel's strike against Palestinians in Gaza. But Bartlet disagrees.

And C.J.'s standing in the background, doing nothing.

OMG-Donna is in surgery. She's got pulmonary embolism. Peter can tell us what that is. [Bertie, just pretend that we don't know...]

AHHHH! Bertie! This is so crappy, and yet so monumental! Why did Aaron have to leave us?! And why did they show have to get so bad!? I can't decide if I'm mad that we haven't been watching it...or if I'm glad because it's so trite and melodramatic. Could they possibly come up with any other season finale twists?

Goddamn--I wish they would just suck it up and kill Zoe.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

West Wing, Season II! Noel!!

Woohoo!!

And we thought Naomi was bad...

Just kidding, she actually is really terrible at her job and socializing in general. [insert part where bertie feels bad for her]

Anyway, why am I up at this goddamned hour?! [insert part where bertie complains that 9 am is not early, especially when you have to go into your dad's office]

To the point [since i'm not high right now, but god, how i wish i was...] I'm on duty this week, and I got a page at 8:20 am.

The funny thing is, the phone should have been unforwarded at 8. Normally, i could let this slide [even though i didn't go to bed until half 4], but after I received the page, I went down to the desk and asked Jon [annoying business major who knows "everything" about Foster and conferences and has a nasty speech impediment] if he unforwarded the phone. And he said, "yes." Lied blindy to my face. How fucking incompetent. Let's add this to the list of reasons why I hate him.

I would like to go back to bed now, but it's too goddamned sunny to sleep. Tiny violin, anyone?

Monday, May 17, 2004

You won't believe it!

'Manpurs'... i love it. today is the day; i finally poped it in... and in all honesty, pretty good bird. i am only at sunrise, but i can't wait to find out what is next! i hope the first thing you feel tomorrow morning when you read this is guilt for reading blogger when you are suposed to be working... and then joy that this lard ass finally checked out your mixed tape.

if this post pissed you off b/c it ignors puncuation---> take the penalty
yo tengo una cuchara!

On being the boss' daughter

yick. blech. eek. Mmm.

That is my feeling about being the boss' daughter. I hate this day more than any other, all year. The first day back to the office. The first day meeting the new crew (which, invariably, has changed since I last worked here...). The first day when everyone realizes again, for the first time, that I the daughter of the guy who signs the checks...

Have you ever been in this position? Do your parents ever drag you with them to work to either help out around the office or, worse, work on your own smack? It is really uncomfortable. No one knows how to relate to you and, truthfully, you don't know how to relate to them, either. How do you even address them? Some of the people here have worked with my Dad-- or have been our neighbors (because my Dad is definetely someone who hires from his friends and family network!)-- for years and years. Therefore, I am in the habit of referring to them by their polite company names (e.g., Mr. McNeirney or Mr. Tumulski). New people, however... I don't know what to do with them. They often only introduce themselves with their first names and, at 26, even if they include their last names, it is probably more appropriate and less awkward for me to call them by their given name, only. Ostesibly, though, that creates a status differential that I don't mean-- it happens that the people I have known since I was little (and, therefore, get the "star" formal treatment) are, probably just because they are so frackin' old, in higher positions within the company. Do you think it makes people uncomfortable that I refer to them with formality and others more informally? Do you think that sends a message I don't mean? Referring to Mr. McNeirney and Mr. Tumulski as "John" and "Rich" is absolutely *NOT* an option; it would be crazy uncomfortable for me and my Dad would probably punish my insolent tongue by washing out my mouth with soap (well, probably not, but my parents are pretty strict about respect. Especially at the office. My Dad is worried that people will think I think I have more power than I do.. and, for the record, I have none and I know it-- I am not even frickin' employed here! It is just important to my Dad that everyone understands that *I* understand that I am at the very bottom of the totum pole).

As the summer goes on, truthfully, things usually don't get much better. People aren't sure how to talk around me. Should they keep silent around me, afraid I will report back if they were just airing their stress about a bad day? Or, do they instead engage me in their discussions of office politics and disdain for particular people-- including my Dad?!!?!?!! One woman who worked with my Dad a few years ago was particularly afraid of him (his Irish temper definetely surfaces while he is at work-- he gets explosively pissed when he gets angry-- and often that level of anger is only fueled by total stupidity when someone is completing an otherwise little task. In that way he is like you, Peter: Bill Burns H-A-T-E-S stupid people!). She basically made me play mediator between the two all summer-- NOT a comfortable place to be!!!

Today I was placed in my friend Dave's office, because he works out of his home in Madison all but 2 or 3 days a month. I was kind of excited about this (not that it is an exciting office-- he is, after all, only here about five minutes a year.. it is just a windowless box) because it meant I would be a little out of the way and then, perhaps, under the radar a bit... not so, though. I went into the lunch room to get a spoon and heard people talking about how cushy it must be to be the boss' daughter-- from the street to an office in .5 seconds. I wasn't sure how to respond to this. First, it wasn't directed at me (just about me), so it didn't seem appropriate to respond. Second, what the hell can I say? It is true (or at least looks that way). The truth is it was just easiest to shove me in here for today, but come tomorrow I am out on the floor with everyone else; my Dad just didn't have time to deal with me and so dropped me in here. Third, I don't want to be here at all!! It is just that my parents are MAKING me come here! Because they are the most hands on parents in America!! Please, my Dad makes me give him an oral progress report on the drive home every day and then I am to submitt a written memorandum, stating my accomplishments to date, every Friday afternoon. I would rather be ANYWHERE besides here!!

AH!!! I hate this feeling! It is that uncomfortable, icky, stomache-nawing. Ick ick ick!! My Dad is going out of town for the next two days, but assures me that I can come into the office without him-- yeah, right!!! Buffalo Public Library, here I come!!!! Anywhere but here!!

So, after this long post (I am sorry, friends! To you especially, Peter: I know wordiness antogonizes you... and, in this genre, forces you to do your least favorite thing-- read!), what are your thoughts, friends? Any advice-- from personal experiences or just life in general? Anything? Bueller, Bueller, Bueller... (if you didn't get that allusion because you are too young and 80s pop culture ignorant, take the penalty. That was a BRILLIANT flick which any sense whatsoever requires you to view!!)

Thanks in advance for your help!

Love,
La hija (triste)del jefe

Sunday, May 16, 2004

W(hy)TF couldn't Jason come to Canada last year; not once, but twice

Point being, last night, I was looking for a little humor because it was a long night with a whole bunch of exchange students, and we all know I love exchange stuents, so I was looking for some fun, and, as usual, it came at Bird's expense. Jason, being himself, was trying to "drive a wedge between us!" and I wont let him. I feel that Spanish, ehum, Espanol is going to be the driving force keeping us together; Jason will have no idea what we are talking about. Y tu Mama tambien!

PS
If you passed up a chance at some Kamschaka last night, take the penalty!

Jason didn't mean to start shit... :-(

Hi Bird...and Peter on the incredibly off chance he's reading this:

I'm sorry about that post. It wasn't my intent to make you sad. I hope your email was more sarcastic than you let on. You know Peter was just joking around, right?

And I just put the AIM stuff up there (1) because as you said, posting AIM conversations is penalty-worthy...and WAAAAY too much like LJ, and (2) because I wanted to piss Peter off. We were just messing around. Nobody was supposed to get hurt. You two are still very good friends, just as Peter is 100% theist.

Now I feel like that episode of Mary Tyler Moore where she's at the clown's funeral and she can't stop laughing at the fact that he was stepped on by an elephant. And if you got that allusion, take the penalty.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

"Sure guys...I would love to come down to New Orleans..."

Hi Bird.

First, remind me to tell you about the Debbie-girl later. I really want to type it, but it's just too funny to merely read in print.

Second, I am talking to Peter on AIM right now. Which is fun, because it rhymes with "lame," which is what he is. He got your email but isn't signing up for blog yet. Why? I do not know. I tried to get him to join by forcing him to get on the blog and defend himself. Observe:

Arturo 8: hey, did you get bird's email?
amiossi02: yeah
amiossi02: not replied yet
amiossi02: you know me
Arturo 8: get on top of it!
Arturo 8: otherwise you won't be friends with her next year!
amiossi02: well
amiossi02: jason, that is the plan

He tried to make a joke of it, but I think we both know Peter. By the by, the only reason I'm talking smack about him is that it's hard for him to hurt me from 60 miles away. And then:

Arturo 8: WHERE DID I GO TO HIGH SCHOOL, JACKASS!?
amiossi02: I THINK BERTIE IS CAMPY HIGH
amiossi02: that is where you went


But then he did redeem himself with a funny Seinfeld allusion:

Arturo 8: so, i haven't talked to gavin in a week or so
Arturo 8: [from successfully avoiding him]
Arturo 8: and last night he drunk dialed me 3 times while i was asleep
amiossi02: sorry, but i hate that person
amiossi02: omg
amiossi02: you need to pull an elaine
amiossi02: sorry gavin
amiossi02: but jason is dying
amiossi02: [cough cough]


So, all in all, I guess that about evens things up, right? Probably not, but then again that's Peter for you.

p.s. I hope this will piss him off enough to force him to write back and talk to us! and you KNOW he's gonna want to hear the JP story!!!

The elusive email

Here's the email, Jason-- crazy that we couldn't get it to go through earlier... sadness!!


-----Original Message-----
From: Burns, Roberta R
Sent: Thu 5/13/2004 10:48 AM
To: Wallace, Jason A
Cc:
Subject: THANK YOU!!


Thanks, friend, for all of your help in packing, moving, and just lovin' in general! You rock, friend!! Your mix carried me all the way home-- it is WONDERFUL ("brushetta", it seems, is an intentionally ironic name for such a splendiforous collection of songs!! :)!!

I miss you, friend! It is nice to be home, but SO lonely without my friend Jason!! Sadness!! I hope, though, that this email is read from your new room in Foster and finds you happy and starting to enjoy the beautiful summer! :)

Please visit. Seriously. I miss you. It is only 8.5 hours to the Buff (though I won't lie-- it is THE most boring drive EVER!!).

Next weekend I get to move all over again-- my sister Carol! ICK!

Write and CALL when you get the chance (716-662-2079). I am going to be pretty bored this weekend (even my parents are going out of town, so it really is just me...). Starting on Monday, I will be at my Dad's office all day, every day. 1-800-832-3303, then press 6... I don't have an official extension yet-- forthcoming. But still... Call. Often.

Send me your digits in Harper when you have them.

I love you, friend! Take care!

Love,
Bird

do you love the color?!?!!?

It's my signature!! :)

Hi, friend!

Hi, friend! It is official! This is how we can communicate all summer (and next year!). Check it every day!! And post everyday!! WOOHOO!!